Well, folks, I have a little something something to share.
Word is gradually getting out already, so I might as well make an official statement.
I am 9 weeks pregnant! Surprise, Surprise!
You and me both!
Anyone reading this blog knows that we have experienced three miscarriages. So, you might wonder why I would post this very big announcement when I am so early on.
Well, for a few reasons.
1. OBVIOUSLY because we are very happy to have this miracle happen.
2. I am soooo sick all day long, every day. No throwing up yet, but constant nauseousness that has landed me rather useless at this time. I haven’t been in church much lately and have had to cancel so many things I would have normally enjoyed. Because of this, the word is already getting out as people have been concerned for me in my absence.
3. If anything were to happen in this pregnancy, you are the crowd I would process my feelings with anyways. Writing is therapy for me – whether for good reasons or sad reasons. I certainly have so much hope that this will be a healthy, full term pregnancy resulting in a precious little one in my arms, but also realize I have no control over the end result. It is truly all in God’s hands. So, whether it is the result I hope for or not, you are going to hear about it either way.
So, all explanations aside….
It has been years since I have asked for a miracle in this area. I have in many ways hoped a miracle would happen, but shut myself off from believing it could actually happen to us. Our last miscarriage took place November 2008. So, it has been nearly three years and I didn’t have the heart to believe this miracle could happen for us (Jeff believed, but I didn’t).
About a month ago, we were at church and a special speaker was sharing several miracles people experienced. As he was sharing, faith began to increase in me. At the end, they had a prayer team at the front available to pray for any need we might have in the congregation. I turned to Jeff and told him that I felt like I needed to go up and ask God for a healing so we can have a biological child. He instantly told me he wanted to come down with me.
Little did I know that as I walked down the aisle to ask for prayer, that I was ALREADY pregnant. The magnitude of that still overwhelms me!
As our pastor prayed for us, I cried so many tears. Tears of hope. Tears of heart felt prayers. Tears of sincerity. I realized I hadn’t prayed this prayer in a very long time and now the prayer was so built up within me that all I could do was cry.
I found out I was pregnant the Thursday after this prayer. I have to wonder if God allowed me to take that step of faith before finding out to show me His wonderful mercy and kindness. He already answered the prayer, but allowed me to express my faith to Him before He revealed the miracle.
We are delighting in the wonderful miracle God has done and are so grateful. I do have feelings to process about all of this and will do so in future blog postings. For now, I will leave it at this!