It’s funny how I felt emotional clicking the link “New Post” and writing on this blank canvas I put aside for so many weeks.
Time after time I have longed to write things I am feeling. I wanted to let every obstacle or burden flow through the keys of my keyboard. But I haven’t done so. I often feel an internal reminder that my children (especially my teen) deserve the respect of privacy. When I was a kid and messed up, my mom didn’t go running to her computer to blare to the world her frustrations and/or confusion. Point taken, right (talking to myself)?
It’s not that anything is devastating or going terribly wrong. It is just that the reality of parenting (especially a teen) is kicking in.
It seems we (especially me) are in a season. A season of complete reality. No more rosy glasses.
A few months ago, we saw the movie, “The Blind Side.” In the movie, the boy’s neglect (with his birth family) is made evident and a healthy family invites him in to their home to live. Later, he becomes their adopted son and eventually becomes a professional football player.
I think that is what I expected and I am embarrassed to admit it. I saw only the “frosting”. When challenges came along (that would be edited out of a movie!), I kept going back to the recipe and making frosting out of the challenges…
Now we have had more time. Now I realize the truth. It simply is: “We may not see results now, but we pray we will SOMEDAY.” I have always “said” this, but now I can’t describe just how wholly I now KNOW this is the case.
We are not going to hear the violins in the background playing beautiful melody that crescendos into the pivotal, life-changing moment where everything becomes magical.
Instead – it is going to be day by day and step by step. It is going to take time. Lots of time.
It is going to take mistakes. We will make them over and over again.
It is going to take perserverance through challenges. Something I might not choose, but am often PUSHED to by God.
It is going to take faith. Belief in something we don’t see.
It is going to take prayer. God’s presence is our strength.
It is going to take PAUSE. Don’t react. PAUSE. Choose words carefully. NOT my cup of tea – especially when I just KNOW I am right [you can chuckle].
It is going to take grace. Not necessarily for my children, but for ME. God’s UNMERITED favor on me as I stumble through what it is to parent, especially a teenager.
One thing we know. We truly do not have what it takes. And that is why we must take it to God who knows exactly what each of our precious children need.