Today was one of those “not so great parenting days” – to say the least. Ugh, I hate confrontation. More than anything (or most things), I detest confrontation. I get all jittery inside and nervous feeling and ALWAYS second guess myself.
But it had to be done. Even though I prayed throughout the day, the burden on my heart remained after the confrontation was over.
After I sighed audibly the 100th time tonight, Jeff said, “You ok? You’ve been sighing a lot.”
How lucky men are that they can compartmentalize their weights! He can be burdened and then push it aside and get to the task at hand. I, on the other hand, stream my feelings throughout everything I do.
After he said that, I took a moment to silently speak with God – again. In my heart, I cried, “Please help us, God. We need You in everything we do. We can’t do this without You.”
In response, I felt a sudden peace from God. We are doing the things we need to do. We can only do what we can do and the rest is up to God and our kids. We can parent to the best of our ability, through God’s strength, and then it is up to our kids to accept the baton we are passing them. We want them to finish the race so badly, but we cannot make their legs run it. We hope they will, we pray they will, we give everything we can so they will….but ultimately it is up to them.
And my sighing stopped. The burden remains, but God’s peace made it lighter. I will never claim we are perfect, but God encouraged me so much that we are doing well by Him…And THAT is what matters.
Thank you, Lord, for seeing my need for YOU and taking a moment to encourage me. I really needed it today.
P.S. There is no other motive in writing this blog entry than to express the things on my mind through writing. I am not saying we are great parents and I am also not saying that my kids are bad kids. I am just saying it was a rough day.
P.P.S. What do you want to bet I didn’t need to explain myself and you all knew where I was coming from already?! 🙂