Amazing. Wednesday, May 5, 2010

This past week has been AMAZING for Little Boy.  WE ARE SO PROUD OF HIM.

Someone told me that Little Boy’s behavior would likely get worse before it gets better.

And, boy, it turned out to be true.  We had one night when Little Boy was literally raging.  We handled his behavior the same as always – with consistent, foster care appropriate discipline.  But secretly, Jeff and I looked at each other with overwhelmed expressions.  I can’t describe what goes through our minds as foster parents when these rages happen.  The thoughts are always more drastic in the midst of the rages (such as – will he always be like this?) and then lessen when the rages finally succumb (such as, what can we do to help?).

The one thing we knew is that the tantrums / rages needed to be broken.

Before I go on, I have to tell you just how amazing my husband is.  Though these rages are extremely frustrating for the foster parent, Jeff was able to stay balanced and gently firm.  I am proud to say that my husband is an EXCELLENT father.  As my personality is more outgoing and forthcoming, it was probably in the cards for me to marry a weak willed man (ha ha).  I am grateful God did not allow that.  I have a sensitive, caring man for a husband – BUT – he does not shy away from his responsibility to be my husband and a father to our children.  When the rages happened, he did not leave me to deal with them.  Instead, he planted a chair right outside Little Boy’s room and consistently met Little Boy at the door (when he tried to leave at bedtime) and took him right back to bed.  OVER and OVER and OVER again.  He determined that Little Boy would come to realize WHO is in charge of this home.  Yet, he did not lose his temper.  He just remained consistent and firm.

Then the AMAZING happened.

Little Boy woke up the morning after his rage and everything changed.  His speech, obedience, teachability, and so on and so forth.  AND he is grasping the concepts of WHY we behave.  He is talking out the consequences of disobedience (not just punishment consequences, but life consequences).

For the entire past week, we have had MANY more good moments with Little Boy’s behavior than bad moments.

Something clicked.  Little Boy now seems to be comfortable in his role as Son.

We don’t know what each turn around the corner will bring, but we choose to thank God for the good moments and the bad ones too.  He is in charge and we trust Him.

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