Yeah, so I’m allowed to have a pity party once in awhile – right?
Just got done cleaning the kitchen and straightening up our living room and dining room.
Found lots of baby socks here and there. Found remnants of baby.
I know I am not supposed to pity party. I know I am “just” a foster parent.
But I sure loved having baby here. My house is much different now. Big boy is still the most wonderful blessing of a boy in our home. We just miss the other part of him – his “baby sister”, as he so fondly calls her. Baby didn’t cry much, but there is a strange silence in these walls.
I never knew big boy apart from baby. I know them as a “set”.
And I feel the missing piece. I miss having her here with us. I miss big boy reaching over to kiss her hair (as we taught him).
Please don’t judge me for getting attached. That is what I was made for. I was made to fully love and never hold back.
This is just one of those moments where I feel a pit in my stomach. The having held and no longer holding.
Yeah – I know God has this all in His hands… I am just having a pity party and missing the precious jewel of a baby as I feel her absence.