Motherhood Moments. Saturday, March 27, 2010


Yesterday, was quite the day.  Long story short, TD’s physical turned into a 4 hour stint at the hospital.  Don’t worry – she is totally fine.  The doctor just wanted to have a test for her that caused our wait at the hospital to lengthen.

I ended up crying.

I really did.

Am I being dramatic or truthful?


I experienced every raw emotion:  impatience, embarrassment, frustration, and exhaustion.

There was nothing I could seem to do, whether by positive reinforcement or by strict reinforcement.  I had food and drinks, I redirected them.  I did this and I did that.  Nothing seemed to make a difference.

Our time at the hospital was a MESS.

There was one point I was in a waiting room with one of the boys on my lap and tears threatening to spill past my eyelids.

Here is the question – When kids are still in training on how to behave in public – Do you just not take them to these situations and avoid them until they are older?  Or do you take them to these situations more so they can learn from it?  I am so torn on this.  Everything in me just wants to get a babysitter next time I have to take TD to the doctor (love you Angela and Laurie!!!) – but is that good parenting?  I really don’t know.

What I do know is that Jeff saw me last night.  I actually cried as I depicted the way our 3 and  5 year old acted.  I was blubbering.  HA HA. I felt so silly to be crying.  But they really pushed me to the edge yesterday.

Right now, Jeff is with them at a nearby park – that is all they really need…  They need to get fresh air in their bones.  They were too confined yesterday.

After the park, he is taking them to McDonald’s where they can play some more!

Jeff is just what the doctor ordered.  For me AND for them.

Thank God for my husband.

He is truly my miracle man!

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8 Responses to Motherhood Moments. Saturday, March 27, 2010

  1. sue saad
    I am a firm believer in not taking kids everywhere. If you can get a babysitter by all means do it. The kids will get an opportunity to be with someone fresh and new and you get the opportunity to breathe a little. Your situation is compounded by the fact that you haven’t had the opportunity to train them since birth on how to behave in public. So don’t feel guilty at all about having to get a sitter once in a while. I am praying for you and your growing family!
    Saturday, March 27, 2010 – 12:13 PM

  2. Dana
    Thanks so much Sue… I think I will listen to your advice next time!
    Saturday, March 27, 2010 – 01:23 PM

  3. Jen
    Totally get a babysitter! But if you do have to take them, it is a perfect time to work on good behavior in public and try to show grace as well as discipline when needed.

    There will be times they have to go and sit for hours which is not ideal for any child. And it is totally embarrassing because people do not understand your situation but in the end it doesn’t matter. What matters is that these our your foster children and you will train and love them appropriatly and not worry about what other people are thinking of you. I know that is easier said then done. So many times I have wanted to shout “I didn’t raise these kids!!”

    Here is what i found…even birth children will act this way! They too have to be disciplined and trained. The difference is they hopefully learn it at a younger age. I try so hard not to judge people with their kids because we never know the situation. Those kids could be foster like ours or from bad situations etc. Try not to let it bother you…I totally get it though! I have come home upset for the same reasons before and it doesn’t help when a doctor’s office keeps you waiting for hours (that alone makes me want to cry especially since I don’t like my planned out day changing!).

    Hang in there. You are doing a great job! This too will pass and the next time you are in a situation like this they will do better and better! Lots of love!
    Saturday, March 27, 2010 – 07:55 PM

  4. Laurie
    A sitter would be ideal. They also need to learn how to behave when in public. You and Jeff will have to decide together how to handle a situation such as this one. I would have been more than happy to watch them for you. Sue is right that you haven’t had the opportunity of raising these boys from birth so you are kind of thrown into motherhood without a gradual build on teaching behavior in public. I always would tell my kids what I expect from them before entering a store or building and what the punishment will be if they are disobedient. Lisa Welch has a great book called “Creative Correction”. I used a couple of her ideas and they worked. Although I haven’t read her whole book! Dr. Dobson’s “Dare to Discipline” might give you some ideas as well.
    Don’t be so hard on yourself. No parent is perfect and we have all had days such as this one. We would be lying if we said we didn’t! You are doing great!! It may take a few trials and errors but once they know what to expect it will be like night and day.
    We love you and are praying daily for you!
    Sunday, March 28, 2010 – 07:40 PM

  5. Dana
    Thanks guys!
    Sunday, March 28, 2010 – 09:34 PM

  6. MOM
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a babysitter for the boys when you have any appointment. You know how frustrating it is to go to a doctor appointment for yourself and have to wait sometimes up to an hour in the waiting room then again once you get into the cubical!

    Also, don’t get into the rut that says a good parent takes their children everywhere. A wise parent will learn their limitations mentally and physically. Jeff taking them out to play was exactly what they needed and what you needed. They were able to run off their excess eneregy, and you had the opportunity to breath deeply and “re-group”.

    I remember getting up extra early before your sister and brother (only 14 mos apart) just to have quiet time and prayer. Often my prayers were somewhat selfish asking God to please help me be smarter than they were that day. Praying to be one step ahead of them.

    Watch their eyes and you will be able to read them like a book!.

    You are doing a great job I’m proud of you!
    Tuesday, March 30, 2010 – 06:23 PM

  7. Robeyn
    Hey Dana

    I remember a time when my mom took my brothers and I to the doctors office. We had been there for quite some time and my brothers were getting more restless by the minute. My mom gave them permission to play right outside the front door. They may have been 5 and 6 at the time. Well to make a long story short. Something just happen to catch my moms’ eye just out side the office windows, which happen to be up near the ceiling. My brothers had somehow manage to climb up on top of the one story office building and were sitting there with their legs hanging off the sides. She could see their little feet swinging back and forth. Talk about wanting to cry.

    Some dear friends of mine use to practice sitting with the kids in the living room. They had to sit there for 10 minutes quietly reading or coloring only speaking very softly. Just as they would in a doctors office. Then they would build on the time. Maybe 20 minutes after they mastered that and keep moving up from there. Maybe reward them for that time. Then practice outside the house. That way you are not locked into staying wherever you are. Just sit with them for 1/2 hour in a public place. Reward them by letting them let loose on the nearest playground.
    Wednesday, March 31, 2010 – 12:22 PM

  8. Dana
    Mom, as always, thank you for your sound advice. I so respect and look up to the way you mothered us as kids and then seamlessly entered the realm of parent-child friendship. I love you so much.

    Robeyn, what more can I say than – TOTALLY HILARIOUS – and YES – I would be crying! And the advice on practicing sitting still is EXCELLENT. I think I will start that very soon!

    Thanks to everyone who took the time to encourage me and give me constructive ideas. I will surely use the tools you all suggested!
    Wednesday, March 31, 2010 – 12:59 PM

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