“I will give you strength. It will be worth it.”
These are the words I heard on Sunday night when baby had a hard time going to sleep. Every half hour, there was another cry coming from her crib.
I was tired. Very tired. It had been a long day and I was ready to sleep.
After her third set of cries, I felt a peace and calm come to my heart and the encouragement from God, “I will give you strength. It will be worth it.”
Worth it? I remember thinking that ‘set of words’ a little odd. I figured it just must be worth it to help her through sleeping patterns and to see her come through this eventually. I was really relying on the “strength” part of God’s encouragement to me.
What I didn’t realize is that God was telling me it would be worth it to be up with her all night because it was our last night with her. He was allowing me to spend more time with her that night because it was my last opportunity to do so.
Yes, the unexpected happened yesterday. Baby left our home to live with a relative.
A family member was able to care for baby and was licensed and able to do so. They were honest to admit that they could not care for all the children, and therefore, big boy is still with us. It is wonderful news he can stay with us, but all three of us are sad to see baby leave.
Normally, Childhelp would be aware of this ahead of time so they could prepare us and the children and help with the transition. But Childhelp had not been made aware this was even a possibility and were just as surprised as we were.
The same day we got the call was the same day she left.
I found myself holding tears in so I would not further upset big boy. But when he left the room at any moment, the tears would flow.
I held her in her last moments with us and told her how much Jesus loves her. How I hoped she would come to know Him and love Him. I told her she is precious and I pray she grows up to be a woman of God. I then prayed over her, especially praying that she might be the one who brings her family to Jesus should they not come to Him earlier.
How have we taken the news?
I am guessing this is the question we will hear most often.
My first response is to say it is more important how big boy has taken the news than us. He needs to be especially surrounded as he is extremely attached to his baby sister. I have never seen such a proud, involved sibling in all my years nannying and caring for children. Yesterday was very hard for him. His little 4 year old heart should not have to bear all that he has. However, there are things out of our control and we just have to rely on God during this time to help him through this.
In regards to how we are taking the news…
We are sad. We miss the precious bundle who quickly weaved her way into our hearts. She was a complete joy to have in our home. However, we never forgot that this is foster parenting. As sad as we are, we know this is the nature of foster parenting. We will miss everything about baby, but want what is best for her. She will always hold a special place in our hearts as the first baby to come to our home. I guess I will admit I walk by her nursery quickly as her departure is still fresh in my heart, but at the same time my heart holds hope that another precious bundle will fill it in perfect timing.
If there is anything we request at this time, please hold big boy in your prayers. Specifically pray that he might be able to somehow communicate his feelings. He is very young and at this age there is less capability to put into words everything he is feeling. He needs to hear and understand God’s voice expeditiously as God is the only one that can speak true peace to his heart.
[As a side note, my next blog entry will share some good news about big boy that you won’t want to miss. The news deserves its own blog entry!!!]
Thank you all for your love and prayers. We just love how our family, friends, church and bloggers have surrounded these two precious children!
Love, Jeff and Dana